This was an email response to a prayer request for Genevieve
Douglass-Beckham through Friday Study Ministries
Fear
My Name
By Jennifer Payne
“But
for you that fear My Name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in
His wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.” (Malachi
4:2)
I know you must receive an
overwhelming number of e-mails and letters each day. I don't want to make the
number greater by adding this one. In addition, I don't know you and your
family, except through your Friday Studies coming to my e-mail box each week.
My husband knows you, but I have never had the opportunity. But still, I had to
write.
Thank you for your last Sunday
Sermon, that you sent on 10/26/02 about
Genevieve's healing. I'm crying while I write this note, because I have had a
healing of a sort also. You see, a few years ago the Lord spoke audibly to me
in a bathroom stall at work (of all places), telling me that I would be a
spiritual warrior when it came to prayer. I was incredulous, and I was not
gracious at the time. I had hoped for another calling... something that I knew
how to do already, something that did not seem so dangerous.
Fighting in the
spirit through prayer seemed tedious, and it seemed difficult. Being wakened in
the middle of the night to pray for someone I didn't even know. Fighting
against demonic attacks and spirits in lands I had never seen physically.
Posing risk to myself and my family, by being a prayer warrior. I knew what it
entailed, even as God said it. But I wasn't happy about it. I ran from it,
like Jonah ran from his call to Ninevah.
But running is more painful
than obedience. It creates doubt in you, it separates you from the best that
God has planned for you. I had my belly of the whale experiences. How long it
took isn't important. What is important is that God spit me back, right in the
same place, face to face with my personal calling. Spiritual warfare. Now all
my fight has dissipated. It is hard to kick against the pricks, to kick against
the goads. It is easier to be obedient.
Of course, many prayer
requests have crossed my path over the years, but I did not do with them what I
know God has taught me to do. That is, I did not do justice to them. But when
your prayer request for Genevieve went forth, I did not know her, but I had to
pray earnestly for her.
So, I thank you for your
Friday Study Ministries testimony, of her healing and deliverance. I cried
reading it, because God is healing me too. He is giving me a second chance to
follow Him the way He chooses, to engage in those actions that He treasures. I
feel like a colt on shaky legs, but I'm learning. I'm learning.
Jennifer Payne
Write to
Jennifer through: Ron@fridaystudy.org
Especially For You
Friday Study Ministries, Inc.
Ron@FridayStudy.org
www.FridayStudy.org
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