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Jennifer Payne
Malachi 4:2


This was an email response to a prayer request for Genevieve Douglass-Beckham through Friday Study Ministries

Fear My Name

By Jennifer Payne

But for you that fear My Name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in His wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.” (Malachi 4:2)

I know you must receive an overwhelming number of e-mails and letters each day.  I don't want to make the number greater by adding this one.  In addition, I don't know you and your family, except through your Friday Studies coming to my e-mail box each week.  My husband knows you, but I have never had the opportunity.  But still, I had to write.

Thank you for your last Sunday Sermon, that you sent on 10/26/02 about Genevieve's healing.  I'm crying while I write this note, because I have had a healing of a sort also.  You see, a few years ago the Lord spoke audibly to me in a bathroom stall at work (of all places), telling me that I would be a spiritual warrior when it came to prayer.  I was incredulous, and I was not gracious at the time.  I had hoped for another calling... something that I knew how to do already, something that did not seem so dangerous. 

Fighting in the spirit through prayer seemed tedious, and it seemed difficult.  Being wakened in the middle of the night to pray for someone I didn't even know.  Fighting against demonic attacks and spirits in lands I had never seen physically.  Posing risk to myself and my family, by being a prayer warrior.  I knew what it entailed, even as God said it.  But I wasn't happy about it.  I ran from it, like Jonah ran from his call to Ninevah.

But running is more painful than obedience.  It creates doubt in you, it separates you from the best that God has planned for you.  I had my belly of the whale experiences.  How long it took isn't important.  What is important is that God spit me back, right in the same place, face to face with my personal calling.  Spiritual warfare.  Now all my fight has dissipated.  It is hard to kick against the pricks, to kick against the goads.  It is easier to be obedient.

Of course, many prayer requests have crossed my path over the years, but I did not do with them what I know God has taught me to do.  That is, I did not do justice to them.  But when your prayer request for Genevieve went forth, I did not know her, but I had to pray earnestly for her.

So, I thank you for your Friday Study Ministries testimony, of her healing and deliverance.  I cried reading it, because God is healing me too.  He is giving me a second chance to follow Him the way He chooses, to engage in those actions that He treasures.  I feel like a colt on shaky legs, but I'm learning.  I'm learning.

Jennifer Payne

Write to Jennifer through:

Especially For You
Friday Study Ministries, Inc.

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