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 Friday Study Ministries


Church Humor

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The young pastor had the opportunity to meet with an older, very successful pastor, and he used the opportunity to ask questions.
"How have you done so well?" he asked.
"Good decisions," replied the older man.
"How do you make good decisions?" he asked in response.
"Experience," was the reply.
"What has helped you learn from your experience?"
"Bad decisions."

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The lady was ill and unable to attend church and it was the first service she had missed in years. The next week she felt better and attended church as usual. Another lady, who had consistently snubbed her in the past, unexpectedly came up to the first lady, said "Hello," smiled and gave her a great hug.
The surprised first lady took her seat in the pew and sat back ready to hear the sermon.
The pastor began: "Now, as I said to you in last week's sermon, it's time to get over it and warmly greet someone you've hated in the past..."

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The aging pastor leaned over and kissed his wife of 60-years as they awoke in the morning. "Don't kiss me," she said. "Why not?" he asked. "Because I'm dead," she answered. "You're not dead," he said. "I must be dead," she replied. "It's morning and nothing hurts!"

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At last the deacon was in heaven! Then he was astonished to see his neighbor there, the one who was so grumpy with everyone. Oh no, he then saw the boy who stole his lunch money in high school - twice. And there were others he never thought would be in heaven. Something else bothered him - he turned to a nearby angel and asked: "How come everybody is so quiet and somber here?" The angel replied, "It's because of you. None of them thought you'd make it."

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During the pastor's accountability meeting, one of the pastors said: "My wife has a habit of sitting up every night until two and three o'clock in the morning and I can't break her of it."
One of the other pastors asked, "Why does she stay up so late?"
The first pastor replied, "Waiting for me to come home from hospital visitation."

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"How long have you worked here?" someone asked the church secretary.
Her reply: "Ever since they threatened to fire me."

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One pastor reduced his counseling appointments remarkably and spent more time with his family by posting a large sign behind his desk that said, "The more I know people, the more I love my dog." Unfortunately, attendance at church services declined as well.

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The pastor's little son had visited his aunt and uncle during the summer and was about to return home. Before he left, he went with his uncle to visit his favorite statue, which was General Lafayette on his horse. "Goodbye, Lafayette," the little boy said. As they turned away, he asked his uncle, "Who's that man on Lafayette?"

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A woman was late arriving at the church for the wedding. As she rushed to the door, an usher asked to see her invitation.
"I don't have one," she growled.
"Are you a friend of the groom?" asked the usher.
"I certainly am not," she replied, "I'm the bride's mother."

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The church paid for the pastor and his family to take a vacation in Washington, D.C., and they were now visiting the Senate in session. A prayer was being offered by the Senate Chaplain.
"Who is that man?" whispered the pastor's little boy.
"That is the chaplain," answered his father, the pastor.
"Does he pray for the Senators, Daddy?"
"Actually, son," answered his father, "When he gets up there and looks out over the Senate, he prays for the country."

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Humor 2012

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Long Beach, CA 90809-2131
www.FridayStudy.org
Ron@FridayStudy.org