Humor 2010
The minister was telling, in a Bible study,
how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.
A member of the Bible study said, "That's nothing! My wife was
telling me how to drive and when she grabbed my arm to make me
go to the left, we turned into a telephone pole."
_____
The pastor went to New York City for a
conference and hailed a cab as he left the airport. As the
cabdriver drove toward the event, the pastor decided to ask a
question about the area of New York they were driving through.
He tapped the driver on the shoulder and the cab immediately
began to weave violently from side-to-side and they almost hit a
bus. The driver pulled to the side, stopped and turned
around to face the back seat. "What happened?" asked the
pastor. The driver apologized and said, "This is my first
day as a cabdriver. Before this I drove a hearse for 25
years..."
_____
The deacon’s wife and the church receptionist
were out walking their dogs. One had a large Doberman and the
other a tiny Chihuahua. As they walked, the deacon’s wife with
the Doberman said, "Let's go to that coffee shop."
The receptionist replied, "We can't go in… We've got the dogs
with us."
The deacon’s wife said, "Just watch and do as I do."
They walked to the coffee shop and the deacon’s wife put on a
pair of dark glasses and walked inside.
The clerk at the counter said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The deacon’s wife with the Doberman said, "You don't understand
... This is my seeing-eye dog."
He replied, "A Doberman?"
The woman answered, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very
good."
The clerk said, "OK, come on in" and started preparing the
coffee she ordered.
The other lady felt that convincing him a Chihuahua was a
seeing-eye dog was difficult, but put on her dark glasses and
walked in.
Once again the clerk said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye
dog."
The clerk responded, "A Chihuahua?"
She gasped and shouted, "What, A Chihuahua? They gave me
a Chihuahua?”
It is recommended that you don’t attend
their church.
_____
The night clerk in a hotel was surprised to
see a guest walking through the lobby in a bathrobe and a pair
of pajamas. "Hey there," the clerk shouted, "What do you
think you're doing?"
The guest, who happened to be a pastor, woke up from
sleep-walking and apologized. "I'm sorry," he said, "I'm a
somnambulist."
"Well," said the clerk, "you can't walk around here like that,
no matter what church you belong to."
_____
The Sunday School teacher was trying to make
the little boy behave. 'I'm really very much afraid,' she said,
'that I'm not going to meet you in heaven.'
"Gee, that's too bad," replied the smart-mouthed little boy,
"What did you do?"
_____
The pastor's teenaged son asked his father,
"Dad, is it possible for a woman to keep a secret?"
"Oh yes," his father answered. "Your mother and I were engaged
for six weeks before she said anything to me about it."
_____
A Sunday School teacher challenged her
children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter
to God. They were to bring their letter back the following
Sunday. One little boy wrote, "Dear God, We had a good time at
church today. Wish you could have been there."
_____
The little boy in church school raised his
hand, and the teacher asked, "Yes, what is it?
"I don't want to scare you," he said, "but my Dad told me if I
didn't get better grades, someone is going to get in serious
trouble."
_____
Pastors have reputations like other people
do, and this one was a pretty good speaker, but he was thought
to be a very poor counselor. He felt he was a good
counselor but most in the congregation did not agree.
A husband and wife had been seeing him for marital counseling
for several months, and now the wife came to his office, openly
weeping.
She said through her tears, "I gave him my best years, and now
he's run off with another woman..." She paused and continued,
"Oh, I just can't control my emotions."
The pastor responded, hoping to comfort her, "Why bother? You'll
feel better after a good laugh!"
_____
The pastor and his wife had been invited to a
cabin in the mountains, and as they were being driven back to the
little airport by their host's chauffeur, the wife was telling
the pastor that he had talked too much about damnation and hell
over the weekend. She pointed out that their host had been
upset.
The pastor nodded and then asked the chauffeur, "Will we get to
the airport on time?"
"Yes, sir, we will," the chauffeur responded. "My boss told me
that if I didn't get you there on time, I'd lose my job!"
Visit Past Humor :
Humor 2009
Humor 2008
Humor 2007
Humor 2006
Humor 2005
Humor 2004
Humor 2003
Humor 2002
Humor 2000 - 2001
Weekly Bulletin
Friday Study Ministries
PO Box 92131
Long Beach, CA 90809-2131
www.FridayStudy.org
Ron@FridayStudy.org
