Relationships
“We do not look at the things
which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are
seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2
Corinthians 4:18)
2005 was the year my Mother went to be with the Lord.
How different to be spending 2006 without her. Thoughts have been coming to me
about the powerful relationships that have been given to us. Thoughts like: how
interesting God chose such a strange, but wonderful method of bringing people
into the world, where the child is literally inside the mother for the better
part of a year and then - birth! The child is born! Previously you could look
and see just one person, and then suddenly the “one” becomes: two! The arrival
is typically, but not always, followed by years of relationship, and then
tragically, because of the force called “death,” the bond is seemingly gone -
forever. You can search the entire earth, but not find them because they are not here. Life is both difficult and wonderful.
To trust in the Lord is to know that our relationships will wonderfully be
restored.
Relationships between family members such as the mother
and child are complex. We receive periodic emails from the “Shepherd’s
Covenant” that are important to us. The purpose of the mailings is to
encourage pastors, and encouragement is much needed by all in the ministry
(and everybody else).
Here’s an excerpt from this week’s Shepherd’s Covenant, under the subtitle, "If
Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy!" - “You will
have ladies in your congregation this next weekend who have gone through a
divorce, had an abortion, have issues with their own mothers or mothers-in-law.
You all have women you serve who are not being treated with respect by their
children or even their husbands. There will be women who would love to be a mom, but can't. Whatever you
do, help make every lady in your church feel honored, special and valued. When
they leave your service, may they all — every woman — feel extra special!”
Amen! And everyone else as well. It’s time for us all to start HONORING one
another.
The writer of that email is H. B. London, Jr., a pastor
with a ministry that includes helping other pastors. As I recall from a
conversation with him, some years ago, he’s an only kid like me. He wrote these
words: “My mom has been gone now for nearly 15 years, yet
I think of her nearly every day. If your mom is still alive, make sure you give
her extra attention. You know, don't you, that she is probably one of your
biggest fans? I was not always as sensitive as I should have been — but I am
really thankful for my godly mom. She was a great pastor's wife - don't forget
to tell your kids how much you love their mom!”
That’s good advice for us all. How quickly and
unexpectedly the “things (and people)
which are seen” in our lives become the “things
which are not seen” (2 Corinthians 4:18). We tend to grumble and stumble
our way through life, often not appreciating what (and who) we have. It has
impressed me for a long time that to be “fearfully and
wonderfully made,” as David said in Psalm 139:14, includes not only our
physical bodies - it also includes the people that God has carefully placed into
our lives. God not only gave us a certain appearance, but He also gave us
family members as well. Relationships can indeed become disasters, but
that’s not what God intended. It’s people who are sinners. It’s God who loves
you and me.
Bless her heart, my mother and I had “issues” with one
another that lasted for quite awhile. She reacted to my phone calls with
irritation and my tendency was to respond in kind. I would call her in
California, from my home in Arizona, and she would say “Hello,” into the
telephone, followed by, “Oh, it’s YOU!” when she found out it was me. She and I
reconciled wonderfully during the last years of her life, and it was in the
latter part of those years that my wife, Genevieve, helped me understand why my
mother was so troubled – I took her grandchildren away! In the 1970’s, when I moved my family
from California to Arizona, all I was doing was finding a new home. It never
occurred to me that I was taking my mother’s grandchildren away from her! But I
did, and finally realizing it, I became more understanding and the relationship
began to heal. The love between my mother and I, which never really ended except
in our actions, was expressed once more.
I LIKE Paul the Apostle! Don’t you like him, too? He’s
been gone from the earth for 2000 years and yet his words are alive all over this
planet. It’s true, to some extent about us all – our words and actions live on,
even when we are gone. Here’s what he said about this life and the one that is
to come: “We do not look at the things which are seen, but
at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary,
but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18). Paul
suffered great loss. His life was a spiritual “war zone.” His companions in
Christ were imprisoned, beaten and killed. But those who regarded Paul as their
“pastor” trusted him - they knew he understood.
Paul’s letter called “2nd Corinthians” is such a
wonderful book. Chapter One especially contains answers to some of our “Why”
questions in life; like the famous, “Why is this happening to ME?” – a question
we all tend to ask, sooner or later. We have “tribulation,”
Paul said, so we will be “comforted,” and then out
of that comfort, be able to comfort others in similar distress. He was “afflicted,”
he said, so that others might find “salvation.” He
continued: “we were burdened beyond measure, above
strength, so that we despaired even of life.” Why? – so that he (and the
rest of us) might learn “that we should not trust in
ourselves, but in GOD who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:3-11).
Everything in life is “temporary.” We build a house, and
if you think about it, we know it’s extremely unlikely that house will be
standing in 150 years! We get a job or build a business, and even in the
enthusiasm of that which is new, we know it’s just for a time. The same is true
for our relationships. Your family may continue to exist in the form of your
great-great grandchildren, but you likely won't be a part of them in
200 years. Some of them may know your name, but they won’t know – YOU!
If your mother is alive today – tell her you love her.
If you haven’t said it lately – tell others you care. We have just a moment on
this place called “earth” – make that moment COUNT for the love of God in Christ
Jesus. When we know the Lord, we’ll be reunited in eternity, but our time on
earth together is short. Let’s start to love right now:
Father, let us become people who forgive, forget and
love. Give us Your love for all You
have placed into our lives. In Jesus Name. Amen.
