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Love
“Love suffers
long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade
itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not
seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not
rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth” (1
Corinthians 13:4-6)
If your spouse does everything you
want before you even tell them about the need, it pleases
you. If they can anticipate what you want in a spouse
and actually BE that person, you’re happy. They’re
so completely what you want them to be, that it’s like being
married to – Yourself!
Many, many people have tried to do
and be exactly what they think the other person would want,
as a means of pleasing them. Or, they have done it
so their spouse won’t be angry at them. Of course,
it’s living a lie and few can maintain it for a whole married
life. Or, if you’re living a lie at your place of
employment, it’ll be difficult to keep it up until retirement.
Sooner or later, you’ll slip and reveal who you really are.
It will shock the other person, for it will suddenly be
revealed to them that they’re not simply married to a predictable
“clone” of themselves, but amazingly, they’re married to
– Somebody else!
That’s often the source of the first
argument in a marriage. Both parties have pretended
to be what they think the other person wants during the
courtship and engagement, but it takes a lot of concentration
to live a lie and it can’t be maintained forever.
It’s a form of hypocrisy, because you are not who you pretend
to be, which inevitably produces anger when you’re found
out.
The person who has been lied to (actually
BOTH, to some extent, have told lies), will feel betrayed.
And interestingly, when one lies in a close relationship,
they will RESENT the person they are successfully lying
to, because everyone has a deep, often subconscious need
to be understood for who they really are. You don’t
want to be found out, but you actually do, because you have
this underlying feeling: “If they truly loved me, they’d
KNOW who I really am!”
An interesting characteristic of the
liar is that, sooner or later, they begin to believe their
own lies. The human mind is tricky, and we easily
fool ourselves. The one caught in a lie often reacts
with outrage when they are found out, actually believing
that they are wronged by an accuser. David the prophet-king
of Israel, who ruled and wrote 3000 years ago, understood
this and called out to God: “Who
can understand his errors? Cleanse me from SECRET faults”
(Psalm 19:12). Read 2 Samuel 11:1 through 2 Samuel
12:13. David, in his sins involving Bathsheba and
Uriah, was a person who intimately knew what it was like
to live a lie to the extent that even HE believed it.
To his credit, however, when he was confronted by Nathan
the Prophet, he immediately acknowledged it, to himself,
to Nathan, and most important of all – To God.
Love. How does LOVE fit into
a marriage or other relationship that is based on deceit?
Actually, in the light of 1st Corinthians 13,
it does not fit at all, for “love
rejoices in the truth” (1 Corinthians 14:6).
While in Quantico, Virginia, we participated
in “Warrior Day,” an event for relatives and friends of
newly commissioned Marine Corps Second Lieutenants.
They dressed us in heavy flak jackets and helmets, and among
other events of the day, we each were given twenty live
M-16 rounds to fire on the rifle range. It was the
first such weapon I had fired in 40-years. All were
handed another M-16 with a grenade launcher, which we aimed
at distant targets on the range. We participated in
a slow march of just over a mile and ate field rations.
The rations had interesting names like, “Thai
chicken, with noodles and vegetables.” A bag
was opened, water was poured up to a specified line, a food
packet was inserted, and voila, steam came out - lunch was
ready! Other items included “Cappuccino Mocha” and a “Toaster Pastry”.
Field rations have changed. We wore night vision goggles,
watched martial arts training, sat in the cockpits of helicopters
and went for wild rides in amphibious vehicles. They
had treads like a tank and traversed narrow forest trails
at 62 miles per hour! We were standing in them, holding
on for dear life as the vehicles went up one small hill
and down another, turning left and right, flinging us from
side-to-side while the driver negotiated thin pathways through
the trees. There were unfamiliar insects in the forest
that made us unwilling to sit on rocks or lean on trees.
For a day in Virginia, we walked with
Marines, dressed a little bit like them and were exposed
to some of the events and paraphernalia in their lives.
But, are we “Marines” because for a time we did a few things
like they do? Of course not! That would be ridiculous.
To be a Marine is much more.
It’s the same with love. Clothing
ourselves in some of the attributes of love does not mean
we are loving people.
Love is “kind,”
as seen in our Scripture verse for today, and if you examine
history along with the daily newspapers, you’ll find that
people are not kind. Envy and pride are alien, poisonous
emotions, destroying not only ourselves, but also those
around us. However, it’s considered “sane” to promote
yourself and even “nice” people tend to think evil of others.
Those who do not think they “rejoice
in iniquity” will enjoy a “comedy” or “drama” that
portrays iniquity on stage or in the movies. In true
love you will find yourself giving up your own needs even
for those who are unlovely and unkind in return. If
you love, you will not be provoked and you will love the
truth: “Love suffers long and is
kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is
not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its
own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in
iniquity, but rejoices in the truth” (1 Corinthians
13:4-6) - Jesus Christ has that kind of love for you and
me.
The Son of God was asked, “What
is truth?” (John 18:38) by a man who was about to
kill Him. Jesus Christ IS “the
truth” (John 14:6) and He is “the
way” you must go in order to find the love reflected
in 1st Corinthians Chapter 13. He will
enable you to speak “the truth
in love” (Ephesians 4:15), which can’t happen without
Him. Truth with no love is mean-spirited, and love
without truth is hypocrisy. We need Him and we need
His love.
Do you want love? Do you hunger
for truth? Then seek the Lord. You will find
Him, His truth and His love. Lord, I look to You.
I confess that I have sinned. I am so tired.
Please forgive me and give me Your Spirit, that I may know
Your love. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Ron Beckham, Pastor
Friday Study Ministries
www.FridayStudy.org
www.FirstChurchontheNet.org
www.BlessedHands.org
E-mail:
Ron@FridayStudy.org
Tel:
(562) 688-5559
PO Box 92131
Long Beach, CA 90809-2131
"While
we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"
(Romans
5:8)
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